How do we trust again after a betrayal? Or how did we even trust the people that hurt us in the first place? At first, we go through what some people like to call the honeymoon phase when new people enter our lives. We see the good in them, and we often have a blast getting to know one another. So why not trust them. If you're not discerning anything negative, you have no reason not to trust anyone.
Suppose you have issues with letting new people in your life by being suspicious of everyone. Or have a wall up towards every new person you meet because of previous betrayals. Then it's time to evaluate that and ask the Lord for healing. You can take more steps as a preventive, depending on your emotional state. There are resources, and you're not alone.
People have difficulty trusting someone because they don't want to feel weak or think they can't overcome another betrayal, but those are all fear-based lies. However, whats the trusting process after betrayal?
Forgiveness and communication is the best way to get over it. You want to communicate because we find out the other person's emotions and perspective. You may come to a solution on how to move forward. Forgiveness sounds so cliche, but we have to forgive, which needs to be discussed because people do not want to do this! It's accessible to harbor unforgiveness, but it takes strength to forgive.
21 Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone[a] who sins against me? Seven times?" 22 "No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven!
The rabbis taught that people should forgive those who offend them only three times.
Peter was trying to be exceptionally generous if seven (the perfect number) was enough time to forgive someone. Still, Jesus answered seventy times seven," meaning that we shouldn't keep track of how many times we forgive someone. We should always forgive those who are genuinely repentant, no matter how many times they ask - (NLT Study Bible app)
That's the unforgiveness part, but how do we reconcile?
When someone wrongs us, we often do the opposite of what Jesus recommends.
We turn away in hatred or resentment, seek, revenge or engage in gossip. We should go to the person first, as difficult as it may be, and forgive that person as often as they need it. Then we'll be able to create a much better chance at restoring the relationship- (NLT bible study app)
And this is a good restoration for yourself as well! Not to make it a selfish act, but you are responsible for your heart condition and no one else.
The only way to learn true forgiveness is to be betrayed. Don't get this twisted or used as an excuse not to forgive or trust someone, but I say this because some people are wolves in sheep's clothing.
Trust can be extended to one another, but sometimes we have to be careful! If a person continues to take advantage of you don't become a door mat. Seek God in prayer about
repeated offensives with no change of heart through actions. It may not be healthy, but what could be healthy is setting boundaries when starting a new friendship/relationship. You can build trust this way and you can take your time. Time can tell us a lot about someone or situation and take as much time as you may need.
Be encouraged because Trust is possible!
Trust is good!
Father, we know we can forgive and trust again because Jesus has already done it!
You already know what we need before we ask. We need your Holy Spirit to defeat our flesh and to overcome our emotions. God, we release previous betrayals and hurts to you today. Come into our hearts and do work. I speak that Restoration will be my portion, and I will continue to trust again in Jesus name. Amen!
Don't get lukewarm on me now, ok 💁🏽♀️😂
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Continue for part three 💜 Preparation...